A month in bed – Part four – Revenge

By Evangeline Jennings

It was recently announced that Mike Kelley, the creator of Revenge, has jumped or been pushed – according to taste – from the bridge of the flagship show. Whichever story you believe, it’s clearly a verdict on the poor quality of the second season of the show and the appalling decisions taken by the writers and producers. Almost despite myself, I loved the first gloriously tacky season of Revenge. Right up until the season finale when a plethora of sharks were hurdled in pursuit of Teh Cliffhanger.


I had always thought Revenge went on too long. By the halfway point of the first season, it felt as though the writers were desperately hunting down the back of their sofas for any discarded ideas – no matter how sticky or fluffy –  they could recycle to hit the network’s twenty-plus episode requirement. But that finale had me flat-out laughing at their cack-handed desperation

Teh Cliffhanger
Victoria Grayson is dead. As if. This would have been a lovely way to end the first season if anyone had thought it was for real. But nothing in that first season led viewers to trust the writers and, of course, so it proved.

Teh Revelation
Emily/Amanda’s mother isn’t dead. And?

Disclaimer: I am only halfway through Season Two. However, there have been so many mistakes that I no longer care. Here’s the first few I can think of:

1. Kara Clark / Jennifer Jason Leigh
To summarize: why?

Revenge made a huge deal of the fact that Emily’s  mother was alive. And then they did nothing significant with her. Seriously, what was the point of having some mad cat lady wander around Chateau Grayson with a detached retina look in her eye ? Had Revenge become some kind of Public Service Announcement? Stay on your drugs, kids, mmmkay?

2. The Ryan Brothers
To summarize: why?

I guess the writers couldn’t find enough of a storyline for Emily – which is kinda weak considering the show is all about her – so they devised a clever and kinda revengey subplot. So what? Apart from Amanda/Emily who is steamy skanky hot, no one cares about any of the characters at the Stowaway anymore.

Amanda Clarke. Or Is It?
Amanda Clarke. Or Is It?

3. Aiden Mathis
To summarize: why?

To give Emily backstory? Another love interest? To pad the next run of twenty-whatever episodes? All he brings to the party is an opportunity for Nolan to give it some snark. As if he needs an excuse. And the price for that is to detract from Emily’s standalone strength and determination. Epic fail.

4. Padma and Marco
To summarize: why? Oh fucking why?

Nolan’s fling with Nutcase Boy during Season One was the most unlikely and unlikeable thing in the whole show. To play the same trick in season two?  I guess that old line must be true, there are no new ideas.

A note to the writers and producers of Revenge
Get real.

The best things about your show – other than the frocks and extreme camp – are Charlotte’s Jennifer Garner Lookalikeyness, Emily’s steel, and Nolan’s snark and sexual ambiguity. As far as I know, Charlotte still has Garner’s bone structure, but Emily and Nolan have been royally fucked up by your pathetic excuses for plot and storyline. Most of what I loved about them has gone. Focus on your strengths, not the network’s formula. Devise stories that give Emily VanCamp and Gabriel Mann chance to shine. And give viewers a reason to believe that one day Emily might actually get her revenge. After all, for fuck’s sake, that’s the name of the show.

That is all.

Alias Charlotte Grayson
Alias Charlotte Grayson

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