Fifty shades of green

By Zoë Spencer

Our friend and colleague Zoë has sworn off the internet. However since we have recently edited her very #noirotica story The Trick Is To Keep Breathing for publication in the forthcoming Pankhearst Double A-side single Girls And Boys, she has kindly allowed us to republish an entry she posted on her own now dormant blog about the process of writing it.


Fifty Shades of Green (Originally published on August 21, 2012)

The Olympics are over. And so is my brief adventure in writing about sex. I recently delivered the promised shorts to Pankhearst Central and I’m now entirely in their hands.

Yes, that was a deliberate double entendre. And yes, I said shorts. The days I spent with Maddy practicing porn became something of an entendre extravaganza. And a frankly enormous filth fest.

We started by writing fan fiction and posting it on a popular website under yet another pen name to gauge the reaction to our approach and writing style. Obviously, I wanted to write about Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush, and I even suggested introducing Sinead O’Connor for added spice and lunacy. But Maddy pulled a face so we ended up making numbered lists of possible characters, roles, and scenarios and then we rolled the dice to select the winning combination.

If you read a story about Bruce Banner getting it on in an elevator with Pepper Potts – who suffers a very nasty rupture as Bruce nears orgasm – then that, I’m ashamed to say, was probably us. And yes, we called it Fifty Shades Of Green.

After our brief foray into fan fiction, we turned our hands to our own characters and brainstormed our options. Then we went to the pub, had a couple of drinks, and started to flirt with boys. After a few more drinks, we flirted with girls. Well, I call it flirting, but Maddy said it was market analysis. Whatever. When we left the pub, we went to a party to dance and conduct some practical hands on research.

By the time we got back to the house and tumbled into bed on Sunday morning, we had an abundance of inspiration, a couple of rather sore heads, and some very clear ideas of what our readership demanded. All we had to do was write it down. And learn a little more about BDSM.

By the time I put Maddy onto the train back to London early Monday morning, we’d finished our research and written our draft outlines. This weekend, we swapped our drafts and edited them for each other before submitting to our resident dominatrices at Pankhearst, L and T. Yes, I said submitting. Maddy’s draft was yay hot as you’d expect. She wouldn’t tell me what she thought of mine, but when we skyped there was plenty of colour in her cheeks.

So. Yeah. That was my introduction to writing erotica. And this was my lesson learned: most people who write about BDSM have no idea at all about making things work in the real world. I’ve been getting pointed comments all week about the marks on my wrists and ankles. How come EL Thing never mentions that?

One thought on “Fifty shades of green

  1. Pingback: Filth | Pankhearst

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